What to do? Monday April 25

I don’t know what to do.

I know that I am sleep deprived which makes making a decision even more difficult.

Here is my dilemma ( this might turn into a winefest)

I can’t teach right now ( the internet is too slow and unreliable).  I can’t get a full night’s sleep, the trees are dropping things on the roof of my cabana which wake me, or worse causes nightmares.  I have been looking for other places to stay within the community but seem to be striking out on all counts.

Realistically I should get out of town.  I have people who would be happy to see me in Southern Ecuador.  So why I haven’t I left?

My head tells me I need to go, to get my teaching business back up and running, my heart tells me I need to stay and be here.

About 2 weeks ago I was looking at a similar question and I came to the conclusion that this is where I wanted to be.  After searching for a place to be, a place where I was happy I think I have found it.  I decided this is where I wanted to stay, to stop traveling and to be. After coming to such an decision, it is difficult for me to uproot and go.

I have usually followed my heart for most of my life, maybe this is the time to follow my head?

If I stay I could document the ongoing rebuilding, but I am a little short on camera equipment for that.  I am using my “studio” camera, but it really isn’t ideal for taking into the field alone.  It is a little too conspicuous.

Another factor that keeps me here is fear. I am safe here, but travel right now is a little suspect.  There are a lot of people who have lost a lot, and traveling with what I need would make me a bit of a target.

So with dilema I am slowing organizing  my stuff so that I can go quickly if that is what I decide.

Any thoughts?