Snapshots of my visit to Toronto

I  spent a little over a week in Toronto… and these are some ideas or snapshots from my visit.

I have some amazing friends

When I talk to my friends I find that some of them are doing things that are amazing.  They are keeping active and they have a lot going on in their lives.

There is still a lot of pain for me in this city

As I travel through the city, I can see something that triggers a memory… lots and lots of really good memories, but also some really dark and painful memories.  If I stayed in the city I am not sure if the pain would fade..

There is free WIFI everywhere

I think it would be possible to use your connected device in this city without needing a cell data plan.  Every coffee shop, restaurant and hotel has WIFI..and most of them are free.

Dropping in and out of lives is difficult

I have a very bad habit of dropping in and out of peoples lives.

The people I talk with are not the people I think they are.  They have changed, grown, have their own ways of thinking and behaving.  If I had been in constant contact I I may have been able to understand these changes more, but to see the changes in one quick snap, is a challenge.

It can also be good for me and them, because in the time we take to get caught up on each others lives we learn more about ourselves as well as each other.

This is basically coffee ( or in my case tea ) therapy.

It helps that I seem to be a good listener.

I don’t have a home

I used to think of Toronto as my home.  The city that is here now is not my home anymore.  This is not a good thing, or a bad thing, it just is.

I don’t understand some people

Entrances to most of the subway stations in the city have automatic doors.  These you open by pressing a button… and then waiting for the doors to slowly open.  I lost count of the number of times I saw fit, able bodied people, press these buttons and wait, instead of just pushing through one of the manual doors.

I had forgotten how expensive it is.

Canada is not a cheap country to live in.  Toronto is not a cheap city to live in.  I had forgotten this.  This is one of the reasons that, right now, moving back to the city is not in my future.

I want to belong, I want to be a part of something

I decided that I would go out salsa dancing. By myself.  To a location I had not been to for years.  I slowly got ready, left the apartment, got on the subway, went a few stops, got off the subway, turned around and went back to the apartment. My thinking was that there would be no one I knew there.  I would meet these dancers once, and not likely ever meet them again.

It was during this that I realised that being a part of something is important to me.  I miss the constant companionship of being part of a couple.  I know, at my age, it likely will not happen again.