I am back in TO and having a tough time with it.
I attended THE WEDDING, and due to seating arrangements and who showed up, I ended up sitting by myself, looking in a mirrior , while people I knew and wanted to talk to were sitting on the other side of the room. It was rather fitting on how I have felt a lot about my life…. Being on the outside and looking in. This made what should have been a very hapy occasion for me a very lonely and depressing day. It has been a long time since I felt that level of dissappointment.
I have found a temporary job… not sure how long it will last, or I will last in it. It is good to get some income so I can figure out my next step.
In Tokyo I was a doer, but in Canada it is so easy to fall back into my passive mode.
I don’t like it. I find that I feel so alone in this city… Maybe because the people I know all have others?
And as I wander the city the memories I have well up… Both happy and sad.
Sad seems to prevail.
The smart thing to do would be to work for a bit, and try hard to get a visa back to Japan…. But I think I have to get out of here soon. – Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
