I don’t know what to do.
I know that I am sleep deprived which makes making a decision even more difficult.
Here is my dilemma ( this might turn into a winefest)
I can’t teach right now ( the internet is too slow and unreliable). I can’t get a full night’s sleep, the trees are dropping things on the roof of my cabana which wake me, or worse causes nightmares. I have been looking for other places to stay within the community but seem to be striking out on all counts.
Realistically I should get out of town. I have people who would be happy to see me in Southern Ecuador. So why I haven’t I left?
My head tells me I need to go, to get my teaching business back up and running, my heart tells me I need to stay and be here.
About 2 weeks ago I was looking at a similar question and I came to the conclusion that this is where I wanted to be. After searching for a place to be, a place where I was happy I think I have found it. I decided this is where I wanted to stay, to stop traveling and to be. After coming to such an decision, it is difficult for me to uproot and go.
I have usually followed my heart for most of my life, maybe this is the time to follow my head?
If I stay I could document the ongoing rebuilding, but I am a little short on camera equipment for that. I am using my “studio” camera, but it really isn’t ideal for taking into the field alone. It is a little too conspicuous.
Another factor that keeps me here is fear. I am safe here, but travel right now is a little suspect. There are a lot of people who have lost a lot, and traveling with what I need would make me a bit of a target.
So with dilema I am slowing organizing my stuff so that I can go quickly if that is what I decide.