It snowed today.  It was a little early ( Nov 01) but not surprising… this is Canada after all.

The last time I touched snow was when I walked up to the first refuge up Cotopaxi in Ecuador.  The trip up the slope of the mountain was difficult. From the parking lot to our destination of the refuge took 3 hours.  As we got higher,   I would walk three steps and then take 25 breathes… walk three steps and take 25 breathes.  The first refuge is at 4800 meters, the summit is 5897.. I was still a long way to the top. Reaching the snow was an achievement.  I have no desire to climb higher.

This morning to touch snow I just had to walk out the door to clean it off of the car.  I wasn’t happy.

I don’t like snow.

This afternoon, it was a bright day, the sun was shining, the wind was blowing and I was walking from a bus stop, past an open field, on a 7 minute walk to my parents house. It was a beautiful view, the wind was crisp and fresh.  Except for my ears I was warm.  I know how to deal with the weather.

Conversation in my head:
“it’s cold”
“that wind is crisp”
“yeah and except for your head because you wore the wrong hat you are nice and warm”
“the air smells good”
“that view looks great”
“What was my problem?”
“When did I start to hate winter?  Winter used to be one of my favourite seasons.”
“it is nice out here…maybe it it is time for you to deal with it”

I think it could be all tied up in the loss of the cottage at the end of my marriage, and having to spend my days in Toronto instead of spending winters outdoors.  Toronto slush and gunnk on the streets really sucks.

Since it looks like a winter is in my future, and I know how to deal with it, instead of avoiding it and hoping it goes away, I should deal with it…and maybe enjoy it again.